My wife had a birthday. Business boomed. I got caught up on a (mostly frivolous) side project. We tore out the floor under the desk area at the office. My boss’ mom went into the hospital. I spent half a day babysitting the flooring guy in the boss’ stead on a Sunday. I spent a lot more time on the (mostly frivolous) side project. We got even busier at work. The sun came and drove me outside. The sun came and forced me to mow my ginormous back lawn every 3 days. Tops.
Side note: my back lawn is indeed ginormous but it’s not really a lawn. It’s just a big patch of competing weeds and, in April, the cold weather and warm weather weeds are trying to outgain the hot weather weeds before it’s too late. Consequently, I’m battling all of them continuously with a walk-behind to keep it low enough to see Marvel’s poop.
Other side note: I never saw “busier” coming. When the world shut down, “temporarily,” I figured I’d be twiddling my thumbs. But, no. Everyone’s off work, with money, using their appliances, doing projects, upgrading, and – on long, lonely afternoons – calling Tom with irrelevant questions.
Me (running to the phone, away from three sets of customers in three different parts of the store): “Appliances Direct, how can I help you?!”
Customer: “Oh! You’re open! Good! Are you essential? Haha!”
Me: “Yeah, right. Haha. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Are you guys very busy?”
Me (trying not to scream “wtf do you need?!”): “Extremely. How can I help?”
Customer: “Oh, I was just sitting around, watching daytime TV, flipping through a magazine, and I thought maybe when this is over I would think about redoing my kitchen. You guys sell appliances, right?”
Me (looking up at the store name while holding my index finger up to the now 4 sets of customers): “Yes.”
Customer: “Because my mother, god rest her, got new appliances in 1973 and it really dressed the whole place up. They were avocado green. Do you remember avocado green? Do you think they’ll ever bring back avocado green? There was another color back then, too. What was it? Like a gold. HARVEST gold! That’s what it was, harvest gold. Do you remember that one? What color did your mom have in her kitchen? Remember that god-awful vinyl they had back then? Oh! Hahahaha! Judge Judy just gave a tongue-lashing to this one girl. So funny. So, yeah, I was thinking my refrigerator runs too much and maybe next year, when things are back to normal, I’d think about replacing it. Do you have any fridges? Hello?”
In between customers, phone calls, mowings, trivial side projects, and babysitting gigs, I jump on social media for scant seconds. That’s amusing. Seems a whole segment of society that devoutly believes a woman has no right to choose what to do with her own body and routinely dismisses 25-year old sexual harassment claims now believes that none of us should be told what to do with our bodies during a crisis and is all-in with Tara Reade. I’m not surprised – partisanship breeds hypocrisy – but I am amused.
What’s that? My opinion?
Quickly, though, I have trivial matters to attend to (and a lawn to mow again).
I think it’s time to open everything up and get people out from in front of their televisions where they think they should call Tom. Really, the safety of millions is not worth the personal aggravation.
Joking, but I get the emotion. That’s what it boils down to, right? Contagion strikes. Thousands die. The only defense we have against it, so far, is social distancing. So, we shut down and the curve flattens and thousands live and the rush to the hospital slows. Medical personnel can suddenly handle the quieter surge. It’s awesome. It’s working. But it’s personally aggravating and the gubmint can’t tell me what to do unless I’m a pregnant woman. Quick, grab a gun let’s rush the capital!
Slow down. It’s working. It’s necessary. We’re all in this together. Open it up, sure, but very, very deliberately and with a good eye on the data. In the meantime, do WAY more to help common people through this. A good idea on that would be to transfer more money and benefits from really, really comfortable people to really, really struggling people so that everyone can be more comfortable through all of this. And when this is all over, keep doing that. That part is a good idea all the time.
Oh yeah, I believe her. I tend to believe her most of the time. These allegations cannot be entered into with anything other than distress. Probably nobody would level them frivolously. Best to err on the side of the victim first and sort it out from there. Should Joe Biden drop out over it? Sure. Joe should drop out at exactly the same time that Donald Trump steps down from the weight of his two dozen accusers. Fair’s fair. Brett K, you gotta go, too. A sleaze is a sleaze and we’ve decided, collectively it seems now, that sleazes have no place in politics.
Blue sleaze. Red sleaze. Old sleaze. Young sleaze. Y’all gotta go. We’re starting over with sleaze-free government.
By the way, the boss’ mom is out of the hospital and doing well at home at 90, with plenty of Courvoisier on hand.
Don’t you just love a happy ending?